Love on the Net

A week does not go by when I receive a panicked call from someone who has the insight to check out a situation that does not feel right to them. Internet dating sites are a multi-billion dollar business. Online scams in NZ alone have been over $25 million. Over $4 million of that in romance. (Nearly our population).  

We are all built with the ability to be intuitive. Our gut warns us all the time of danger, why when it comes to romance our intuition is ignored? 

Loneliness, which equals desperation. Longing for the need to be wanted attracts the narcissist.

You tell yourself you are misreading the signs and forge ahead even when the alarms are sounding loud. They feed you the lines you want to hear, and you want to believe them, so you do. 

Take note of these common threads from scammers, reported by clients.

  1. They profess love very quickly without meeting you
  2. There is a sudden emergency and they have no funds, promising to pay you back when the bank re issues their card.
  3. They will ask for your phone number and ask you to leave the dating site to be exclusive.
  4. They never video call.
  5. They make ongoing plans to meet you, (Lucky for Covid this cannot happen and is protection in itself) as they never arrive.

 Listen to your intuition. If you find you are getting caught up emotionally with an online liaison, come off the site for a week, or longer, have no contact with them, have a break from online dating to clear that toxic energy.

Finally, talk to someone.

-Brigid Curran (

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